I just took my MMPI test today which is suppose to be able to tell if you are crazy or not. It was 567 questions long!!!!!!! I wanted to die (funnily enough, the questions about whether you have thought about suicide were at the end and at that point I felt it might be dishonest to say no). But I had to take it in order to be a part-time security guard, so I did it. The results are still out. I'll keep you posted.

However, the whole event had a silver lining which came in the form of the psychologist who administered the exam. I actually saw her down the hall before they called us back and prayed she would be the one.

She was 70+ with hair the color of mauve in a perfect cotton ball upon her head. Her eyeliner was a 2 cm wide silver glob around her lashes. The lipstick, the brightest of pinks, was caked upon her lips and a surrounding portion of skin. Her blush was not blended in.

Her costume jewelry was shiny and sparkly and took up the trunk of her body. Her office was full of fake plants. The dusty kind with flowers that resemble nothing found in nature.

Mostly she reminded me of the grandma on The Nanny.

I am really torn on whether I could have opened up to this woman in a real counselling session. A part of me thinks not and another part thinks, "Absolutely yes!"

--PS - It was funny that one of the questions on the test was whether or not you would enjoy being a librarian. I went with yes, but it was completely hypothetical.

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