A pass!

It finally happened, my doctor gave me a pass to do whatever I want. We are talking exercise, sex, heavy lifting, whatever I care to do! And I care to do a great deal!

The problem is I was slightly naive about how this would go down. I thought it would go Me, Pregnant Me, Me. However, it doesn't. It now goes Me, Pregnant Me, Post-Pregnant Me. I didn't see that last one coming. Post-Pregnant Me is a lot different than Me. Different in ways that I am not sure will ever change.

For one thing I am now a two sports bra woman. I never thought that would happen. It isn't just that they are bigger but that they jiggle in a weird way and they feel EVERYTHING. Emily and Charlotte (or The Brontes as I call them) had better go back to the way they were. We had the perfect arrangement before. They were large enough to look nice in clothes but small enough so that they never caused any problems while I was being active. Now . . . well, we aren't each other's best friend right now.

My muscles are also all different. I understand that I haven't used my muscles in about three months so obviously my legs and things are weaker than before. I understand that and was prepared to ease back into things, knowing that I shouldn't start training for my marathon immediately or anything extreme. However, I wasn't suppose to get a c-section so my abs weren't suppose to be in as bad of shape as they are. I worry they will never be back to what they were. My doctor swears that it will all be fine, but I don't know. I am amazed at what they won't do at the moment. I understand that crunches and focused ab work would be hard but I didn't know that anything that uses the core will be thwarted and painful. Running, jumping, sitting up, picking something up from low down, certain dance moves, etc are all painful. It really makes my whole body fill off.

My limberness is also all off. I stretched throughout my whole pregnancy just so I wouldn't lose flexibility. But that is a bit wonky too. I blame a lot of that on my abs though. Except for my groin area, I blame that on my hip movement that happened during the end of pregnancy.

And last, but not least, is my stomach fat. I know, that is where the baby was and it is of course all different now, but seriously. I have never kept weight there and now I have an actual tire around the middle. It is made weirder because my legs and arms are basically their same shape and then my stomach and boobs are all weird. I hate it. I feel like I am horribly disproportionate and my clothes agree. I hope to all that this particular part will go away eventually but I am scared that it will not. I also hate how sensitive my stomach skin is. The part that was at the peak of my stomach and got stretched out the most becomes so painful, especially when my waistband pushes on it for awhile. Ugh.

But, enough whining. The great news is that I exercised for the first time in three months and it was glorious! Just putting on my workout clothes, which I forgot where I had stashed them for a moment, felt great. That very act got me so energetic and excited that I probably could have done a marathon that first time. In fact, it was a little hard to stop the first time because I had so much adrenaline pumping in me but I knew I had to. And the second workout made me feel glad that I did stop myself the day before. I'm not SORE per se, I just feel my muscles better than I have in a while.

All in all I am thrilled to be able to exercise, have sex, etc and start moving towards some kind of normalacy. As the previous post can attest, even the normal things aren't "normal" exactly, but their very acts make me feel better and happier than I have in months! Little Man may be more work outside of me, but I am still so happy to be just one person now.


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