Lemonade

I have found that when life gives you breastmilk, you should make lemonade.

Case in point, I have to take my stupid pumping crap everywhere I go so I can pump the milk rather than explode. This always makes me feel like a bag-lady. It is hard to get dressy and feel sexy when you are hauling around three bags. However, I recently learned at the movies that there is a benefit to all that.

I am sticking to caffine free soda until I am done breastfeeding and movie theaters have a crap selection of drinks for my delicate palate. I have taken to sneaking my own can of caffine free diet coke in whenever I go. However, on these hot, hot days my cans either sweat all over my purse or are hot when the movie starts and there is a loud enough scene for me to open it.

Solution: I simply take out one of my bottles from the little ice chest bag I carry around to keep my milk cold and replace it with my can. If asked what is in the bag (which I am dying for some poor 17 year-old to do) I will simply whip out my breast milk and explain exactly why I have the bag and what it's contents are. Then saunter down the theater aisle to my seat where I then drink my illegal bounty.

Mwahahahahhahahaha.